“If you saw your family being attacked, would you fight for them?”
It’s the one question I really don’t have to ask to know the answer. The reply is always a chest thump and buck of the shoulders, “You know it.”
But the reality is, many men don’t fight for their families.
Their wives are being ravished, while children are ripped apart, and still, according to the US Census, 1 in 3 of the 24 million children in America grow up in fatherless homes. While we’re throwing cold water on the masculine effort, how about these other facts relating to fatherless homes*:
- 63 percent of all youth suicides;
- 71 percent of pregnant teenagers;
- 85 percent of all youth in prisons;
- 90 percent of all homeless and runaway children; and
- 71 percent of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.
Doesn’t seem to be much chest thumping after all.
These are the facts, and while it’s easy to attack the man as an unloving bio-dad, there are complex issues driving men away from their families. The first and most important issue is the spiritual attack on manhood. For decades, we’ve been “watered” down, and emasculated.
The most effective way for the devil to break down marriages is to weaken manhood. Society has played its part in shaming men for being men, and it’s those old, deep wounds that limit our ability to love, cherish and honor.
Not because we don’t, but because we feel like we don’t deserve to be loved, cherished and honored. It’s a lie – we can be redeemed through Christ. Warriors, the will is there, but we don’t possess the weapons to sustain the fight for family.
Men no longer know how to serve as the head of their household. And, yes the word serve was intentionally used.
We get hung up on this verse from Ephesians 5:23. If the verse stopped with, “For the husband is the head of the wife,” then we’d have a whole other ballgame going on. But the clarification and call to serve is in what follows, “as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.”
Christ did not come to be served, but to serve. Actually, it was sacrificial service. Talk about someone who came to fight to the death for their family!
For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.
We’ve got to respond to the blaring trumpets and wake up. Our wives and children are indeed under attack. There is a violent and relentless spiritual battle raging against your family. This war is as old as humanity itself. It actually began in the Garden of Eden.
God created marriage because it mirrors the relationship He wants to share with us. After He created man, he saw that the man was alone and that it wasn’t good for him. So what did He do? He made the man a helper. I’ve written before about this verse and the meaning of the word “helper” in God Made Marriage: More Than a Valentine Day Card
Also, the word “helper” doesn’t imply secondary or assistant. In Hebrew, helper as it’s used in Genesis is ezer (pronounced “ay-zer”). It literally means vitally important and powerful acts of rescue and support.
To give you another perspective, I’ve included Hallee Bridgeman’s article – The Beauty of Submission – it addresses the same point.
In Genesis 1:27, we read that God created male AND female in His image. We women are as much in the image of God as men are. In a marriage, wifely submission does not mean male dominance nor does it mean male superiority.
Genesis 2:20-24 says, “I will make him a helper suitable for him…and they will become one flesh.” The term “one” used here is the same term used in Deuteronomy 6:4 describing the Holy Trinity: “Hear O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one.” I think that is a powerful message from God that puts husband and wife as one – one flesh, one in the eyes of God as much as the Trinity of God is one. Genesis 2:20 calls woman man’s helpmate, not “helpless” mate.
The Attack Is Real
This is to illustrate to you that marriage is not simply a civil contract, or a let’s see how it goes by living together first, or even a case of why buy the cow when you get the milk for free. This is the most sacred union ever created. It’s also why satan wasted no time in attacking it in the Garden, and has yet to relent.
Men, our adversary is a wise and experienced war hound, and maybe that’s what shakes our fighting spirit into a quick submission. The problem is that instead of calling in the Navy SEALs, we’re waiting around for the three stooges.
This isn’t a battle we were equipped or intended to win–ever.
This is God’s victory to claim, and until we’re willing to step out of the line of fire, we’ll remain in the crosshairs. And guess what? The devil is the best sharpshooter you’ll ever experience.
He knows exactly where to aim to strike your weaknesses. He will pick you apart day after day until you’ve surrendered your family to him.
Look at the data above. You are offering your children up to satan, and he relishes in devouring their futures.
Battle Plan For Victory
Would you rather go into a fight with a feeble 50/50 chance of losing, or a 100% assurance of winning? God didn’t create marriage to fail. There are thousands of self-help resources available. And, while many are useful, God’s word is the single battle plan for guaranteeing you never divorce, or ever have to fight for custody of your kids.
14 After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, “Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your families, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.”
You can’t fight to save your family until you’re free from the secrets of sexual sin that bound you to hell. Purity in marriage will bring restoration in your relationship with God. That same restoration includes an operations plan for defeating the devil and rescuing your wife and reclaiming your children’s futures.
You want to talk about being heroic? Do those things for your family and you’ll be just that, the super hero head of your household.
A Final Note
I love when God places a message on my heart about manhood. I’ve a deep-seeded desire to continue growing into the warrior God calls me to be, and to surround myself with a legion of like-minded fighters-for-families armed with His Word.
Now to be honest, if I wanted to get more social media engagement, I’d write about parenting or family fun stuff. It seems that when God wants me to speak directly to men, my articles see almost zero likes or comments.
But, alas; the metric appears in the actual views of the website. I understand the dynamics. We men aren’t engineered to discuss, well, anything. So please know it’s totally cool that you don’t hit Like.
All that matters is you’re reading His message to you – yes you, my Brother.
Be Warriors In Christ,
* According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Department of Justice, Department of Health and Human Services and the U.S. Census Bureau: